A few days ago, we got a call about Chip and Smallz's 7 year old sister (we found out about her existence about a month after getting the boys). She was staying with a relative, but now had to come into foster care. They wanted to know if we could take her. It was a hard decision at first. We already had 4 kids and weren't planning on going back up to 5. Things were comfortable. We had all just adjusted to Taz leaving a month previously. Did we really want to change things up again when things are going so great? Yet how could we say no? We had the extra bed and car-space. We knew we could handle another (especially an older school aged kid) if we really wanted to. And most importantly, we knew how much it would mean to the siblings to be able to be together. So we said yes.
And we are so glad that we did. That first night, the boys' sister (Sweet Sis) thanked me for letting her come, that she really wanted to be with her brothers. At that moment I knew that we'd made the right decision. She has been so sweet and helpful. And she is wise beyond her years. She says so many things that touch my heart deeply: "I'll be good for you." "You guys are helping my family by taking care of us while they're working on getting better." "You guys take care of us like we're your own kids." "You guys keep us really safe."
She's going through so many changes with a new home, new school, new people, new routines, and new foods. As glad as Sweet Sis is that she's with her brothers, she still misses the rest of her family a lot. One thing that has helped her a lot is praying. Praying for help to feel better, praying for her parents to be able to do the things they need to do, praying that they can all be together again soon. Coloring/drawing pictures for her parents also helped. And just talking about how she's feeling. Sometimes I've had to put off preparing dinner or getting the kids ready for bed to sit with her while she cries and we talk. I'm glad she trusts me enough to tell me those things that are in her heart.
Having Sweet Sis here has been a little of an adjustment for Tigger and Ethan as well, but everyone is getting along pretty well. 5 kids is a lot, but when they're all so well-behaved and play so nicely together, it doesn't seem like it. Of course they all have their moments and fight and hit and argue, but really, they're just such good kids.
Well, until further notice we are again a family of 7. Current kiddo line-up: Sweet Sis (7), Ethan (4), Tigger (4), Chip (4), Smallz (2).
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Thursday, August 25, 2016
I Wouldn't Trade it for Anything
There's this question that I get all the time as a foster mom, and I've never quite known how to answer it. The question is: "How can you say goodbye to your foster kids after getting so attached and loving them so much?" (This is usually followed by a statement along the lines of, "I could never do it." Or "You're so amazing"). Well I watched a movie called "Paycheck" yesterday that finally helped me phrase my answer in the perfect way. Here's a quote that explains my feelings perfectly:
"Rachel Porter: You asked me the strangest question.
Michael Jennings: What?
Rachel Porter: If I knew it wouldn't work out for you and I, before we were together, would I have done it?
Michel Jennings: What did you say?
Rachel Porter: That I wouldn't trade our time for anything."
And that is how I feel. That's how I can continue doing foster care, placement after placement, loss after loss. I'm no saint, I have my moments of impatience, I yell, I engage in power struggles with the kids over pointless things. But I'm a good mom, not perfect, but good. I love Ethan and all the kids that have come, and gone. Even the hard ones, even the ones that were here for just a few days. I look back at those pictures and and videos and think back on those memoires. There were good ones, and bad ones. But mostly good, and the good overshadow the bad.
So here's my answer to the many who have asked me (doctors, dentists, friend, church member, random stranger, family member) how I can handle being a foster mom and get so attached and let them go: I wouldn't trade my time with those kids for anything. I deeply desire to add to my family permanently, but my time with every kid that we've had in our home was worth it, it was not a waste, even though it wasn't meant to be forever. They needed me, and I them. Our time together is over, but I'll cherish the memories we've had forever, and learn from them too. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
"Rachel Porter: You asked me the strangest question.
Michael Jennings: What?
Rachel Porter: If I knew it wouldn't work out for you and I, before we were together, would I have done it?
Michel Jennings: What did you say?
Rachel Porter: That I wouldn't trade our time for anything."
And that is how I feel. That's how I can continue doing foster care, placement after placement, loss after loss. I'm no saint, I have my moments of impatience, I yell, I engage in power struggles with the kids over pointless things. But I'm a good mom, not perfect, but good. I love Ethan and all the kids that have come, and gone. Even the hard ones, even the ones that were here for just a few days. I look back at those pictures and and videos and think back on those memoires. There were good ones, and bad ones. But mostly good, and the good overshadow the bad.
So here's my answer to the many who have asked me (doctors, dentists, friend, church member, random stranger, family member) how I can handle being a foster mom and get so attached and let them go: I wouldn't trade my time with those kids for anything. I deeply desire to add to my family permanently, but my time with every kid that we've had in our home was worth it, it was not a waste, even though it wasn't meant to be forever. They needed me, and I them. Our time together is over, but I'll cherish the memories we've had forever, and learn from them too. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Saturday, July 30, 2016
A Difficult Goodbye
Today, Taz left to live with her dad. We've known this was the plan for a couple months, the longest notice we've had for any of our kids who have left. So you could say that we've had plenty of time to prepare for this goodbye, but really, is any length of time "enough" to say goodbye forever?
It's interesting, because you'd think it would've been harder to say goodbye to the babies and toddlers we've had who were here around the same length of time that Taz has been (9 months). But it wasn't. She's only been gone for a couple of hours and it's already harder. We got attached to her more than any of the others who have left, which may seem odd because she's older and people seem to think that it's easier to attach to and love babies and toddlers, but that's just not always the case. I don't know why Taz got attached to us so quickly or why we came to love her so quickly, but it was very natural. She was, and is, our daughter. So saying goodbye today was no fun.
All week, while packing up her stuff and getting ready for her to leave, there have been many moments when I've thought, "this is the last time". The last time taking her to the store, the last time going to the park together, the last time going swimming together, the last meal, the last song goodnight, the last hug. Because we may never see her again in this lifetime.
Sending her off today, I felt like how I imagine a parent would feel like sending their child off to college. Worrying if we've taught her enough to take care of herself, to be safe and successful in the world. It's a weird feeling, feeling the need to squish everything Taz would need to learn into 9 short months (especially when for 6 of those months we thought we'd have at least a year or two or more). Because we don't know if anyone will teach her those values and life skills we feel is necessary.
But even a parent sending their child off to college (or a mission or anywhere) can write letters, call, skype, or visit. We don't have those options. All we can do now is pray for her. She is in God's hands.
So, for now, we are a family of 6: Ethan (4), Tigger (4), Chip (4), Smallz (2)
It's interesting, because you'd think it would've been harder to say goodbye to the babies and toddlers we've had who were here around the same length of time that Taz has been (9 months). But it wasn't. She's only been gone for a couple of hours and it's already harder. We got attached to her more than any of the others who have left, which may seem odd because she's older and people seem to think that it's easier to attach to and love babies and toddlers, but that's just not always the case. I don't know why Taz got attached to us so quickly or why we came to love her so quickly, but it was very natural. She was, and is, our daughter. So saying goodbye today was no fun.
All week, while packing up her stuff and getting ready for her to leave, there have been many moments when I've thought, "this is the last time". The last time taking her to the store, the last time going to the park together, the last time going swimming together, the last meal, the last song goodnight, the last hug. Because we may never see her again in this lifetime.
Sending her off today, I felt like how I imagine a parent would feel like sending their child off to college. Worrying if we've taught her enough to take care of herself, to be safe and successful in the world. It's a weird feeling, feeling the need to squish everything Taz would need to learn into 9 short months (especially when for 6 of those months we thought we'd have at least a year or two or more). Because we don't know if anyone will teach her those values and life skills we feel is necessary.
But even a parent sending their child off to college (or a mission or anywhere) can write letters, call, skype, or visit. We don't have those options. All we can do now is pray for her. She is in God's hands.
So, for now, we are a family of 6: Ethan (4), Tigger (4), Chip (4), Smallz (2)
Sunday, June 19, 2016
The Return of Tigger
So a week after Chip and Smallz arrived, we got a call from our social worker about Tigger. The relative that she had been staying with for about a month wanted her to be removed. Again. Because they couldn't handle her behaviors. Again.
Even though we already have 4 kids, we said YES to talking her back without hesitation. But it took two weeks to actually get her here due to paperwork, as we were at capacity with 3 foster children already. It took awhile for everyone to figure out what needed to be done and increase our capacity to 4 foster children.
Well, is been a little over a week since she's returned, and things have been great. None of the behaviors everyone's talked about have occurred. She's just a normal little girl. She gets into her fair share of trouble, but nothing you wouldn't expect from a preschooler. Nothing we can't handle.
And so far, having 5 kids really hasn't been very different from when we had 4. More dishes to wash and laundry to do, but that's about it. It helps that this fifth child is not a newborn and I'm not recovering from childbirth. And she's a child we've already had before.
We're so glad she's back. We missed her a bunch while she was gone. Not sure how long she'll be here this time around, but we'll enjoy her as much as we can while she's here.
Oh, and Chip is potty trained! It was easier and faster than I anticipated. So now I only have 1 child in diapers. Hurray!
The current bunch: Taz (10), Ethan (4), Tigger (3), Chip (3), Smallz (22 months)
Even though we already have 4 kids, we said YES to talking her back without hesitation. But it took two weeks to actually get her here due to paperwork, as we were at capacity with 3 foster children already. It took awhile for everyone to figure out what needed to be done and increase our capacity to 4 foster children.
Well, is been a little over a week since she's returned, and things have been great. None of the behaviors everyone's talked about have occurred. She's just a normal little girl. She gets into her fair share of trouble, but nothing you wouldn't expect from a preschooler. Nothing we can't handle.
And so far, having 5 kids really hasn't been very different from when we had 4. More dishes to wash and laundry to do, but that's about it. It helps that this fifth child is not a newborn and I'm not recovering from childbirth. And she's a child we've already had before.
We're so glad she's back. We missed her a bunch while she was gone. Not sure how long she'll be here this time around, but we'll enjoy her as much as we can while she's here.
Oh, and Chip is potty trained! It was easier and faster than I anticipated. So now I only have 1 child in diapers. Hurray!
The current bunch: Taz (10), Ethan (4), Tigger (3), Chip (3), Smallz (22 months)
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
Many Changes
There was court for J Boy yesterday, and the judge ordered for him to be an in-home services case, which meant that he could go home as long as the home walk-through went well. The walk-though was today and everything checked out. J Boy left this afternoon. DCS will be providing his parents with services and support to make sure he stays safe. It's crazy how short a time he was in our home. But not really; uncertainty is certain in the life of foster care.
What's more crazy is that we received a call last night for another placement (as it was fairly certain that J Boy was leaving today). It was for a 1 year old boy. They told us they had already found a home willing to take his 3 year old sister, but if we were willing to take them both, that'd be great. After a short discussion, Matt and I agreed to take them both. They were coming from an hour away, so we had time to change sheets, move beds, lower the crib, wash dishes, and such to prepare for their arrival late at night.
To our surprise, the 3 year old was a BOY, not a girl like we were expecting. This posed a problem as we are only supposed to have 2 kids in each room. So we had to move the toddler bed back out of Taz's room into our room and move Ethan into it. Then the 3 year old (Chip) took Ethan's bed and the 1 year old (Smallz) had the crib. Oh, and J Boy was in a pack and play already in our room, so thankfully he didn't have to be moved. It worked out fine since Ethan always comes into our room in the middle of the night anyways. He wasn't upset at all to wake up and find himself in our room and new kids in his.
It was a bit crazy at times today adjusting to the 2 new arrivals and taking care of J Boy. I'll admit that I panicked a little as the time for the home walk-through neared; I worried that things wouldn't check out and that they would tell me that J-Boy wasn't leaving afterall. Thankfully, that didn't happen (not that I wanted him to leave, it's just that with the new kiddos here, there was no way I could handle all of them for long).
Ethan enjoyed playing with Chip and wasn't too annoyed by Smallz. They're both pretty well behaved boys. They are sleeping pretty well considering that they're so new here. Eating, I think, will be the biggest challenge, especially for Chip, as he is a VERY picky eater. All the picky kids we've had so far could at least sometimes be persuaded/bribed by a promise of a favorite snack after eating their meal. Not so with Chip. Even Mac-n-cheese and pizza was a challenge. He wanted apple jacks all day long. Utensils also seem to be a foreign object to both boys. The other challenge, also with Chip is that he is not at all toilet trained (he'll be 4 next month). He'll be the 4th kid I've had the "privilege" of training. Though I don't plan on tackling this one anytime soon.
Well, here's hoping things are finally going to settle down now.
Four kids: Taz (10), Ethan (4), Chip (3), Smallz (1)
What's more crazy is that we received a call last night for another placement (as it was fairly certain that J Boy was leaving today). It was for a 1 year old boy. They told us they had already found a home willing to take his 3 year old sister, but if we were willing to take them both, that'd be great. After a short discussion, Matt and I agreed to take them both. They were coming from an hour away, so we had time to change sheets, move beds, lower the crib, wash dishes, and such to prepare for their arrival late at night.
To our surprise, the 3 year old was a BOY, not a girl like we were expecting. This posed a problem as we are only supposed to have 2 kids in each room. So we had to move the toddler bed back out of Taz's room into our room and move Ethan into it. Then the 3 year old (Chip) took Ethan's bed and the 1 year old (Smallz) had the crib. Oh, and J Boy was in a pack and play already in our room, so thankfully he didn't have to be moved. It worked out fine since Ethan always comes into our room in the middle of the night anyways. He wasn't upset at all to wake up and find himself in our room and new kids in his.
It was a bit crazy at times today adjusting to the 2 new arrivals and taking care of J Boy. I'll admit that I panicked a little as the time for the home walk-through neared; I worried that things wouldn't check out and that they would tell me that J-Boy wasn't leaving afterall. Thankfully, that didn't happen (not that I wanted him to leave, it's just that with the new kiddos here, there was no way I could handle all of them for long).
Ethan enjoyed playing with Chip and wasn't too annoyed by Smallz. They're both pretty well behaved boys. They are sleeping pretty well considering that they're so new here. Eating, I think, will be the biggest challenge, especially for Chip, as he is a VERY picky eater. All the picky kids we've had so far could at least sometimes be persuaded/bribed by a promise of a favorite snack after eating their meal. Not so with Chip. Even Mac-n-cheese and pizza was a challenge. He wanted apple jacks all day long. Utensils also seem to be a foreign object to both boys. The other challenge, also with Chip is that he is not at all toilet trained (he'll be 4 next month). He'll be the 4th kid I've had the "privilege" of training. Though I don't plan on tackling this one anytime soon.
Well, here's hoping things are finally going to settle down now.
Four kids: Taz (10), Ethan (4), Chip (3), Smallz (1)
Monday, May 16, 2016
A New Addition
Last night we got a call about an almost 4 month old baby boy (J Boy) and Matt drove down to the Riley Children's Hospital to pick him up. He has a broken femur and a possible skull fracture. It was past 1am this morning by the time they got home. All things considered, J Boy slept pretty well last night and has been a pretty easy-going baby today. Ethan woke up in the middle of the night to the baby's crying and sat up in bed asking "Who's that?" I told him we got a new baby and to go back to sleep. Without further comment Ethan laid back down and slept.
This morning both Ethan and Taz seemed really interested in J Boy, though they kept their distance at first because of the brace on his legs. They warmed up to him quickly once we explained the injuries to them and that they just had to be careful not to touch his legs. Then they both tried handing him toys to hold and pulled the string to activate the music on his baby seat whenever he cried.
It's been almost 4 months since we've had a baby in the house. It'll be an adjustment, of course, but a quick one I think for the kids. Matt and I will probably have a harder time since we have to adjust to getting less sleep than we've been getting lately. But it's all worth it for this precious little boy.
Current kiddos: Taz (10), Ethan (4), and J Boy (4 months).
A new adventure, here we come!
This morning both Ethan and Taz seemed really interested in J Boy, though they kept their distance at first because of the brace on his legs. They warmed up to him quickly once we explained the injuries to them and that they just had to be careful not to touch his legs. Then they both tried handing him toys to hold and pulled the string to activate the music on his baby seat whenever he cried.
It's been almost 4 months since we've had a baby in the house. It'll be an adjustment, of course, but a quick one I think for the kids. Matt and I will probably have a harder time since we have to adjust to getting less sleep than we've been getting lately. But it's all worth it for this precious little boy.
Current kiddos: Taz (10), Ethan (4), and J Boy (4 months).
A new adventure, here we come!
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Life's a Rollercoaster
About a week and a half after Tigger left to live with her relative, we got a call that her relative wanted her moved due to behavioral problems at home and at daycare. "Can you take her back?" was the question. Without hesitation we said "Yes! Of course!" We were ready to have her back in our home immediately; there wasn't really any preparation needed on our part. But on their end there was paperwork to be done and whatnot. Yesterday we were told to expect her on Friday. Well, today we were told that her relative had changed her mind. Tigger is no longer coming back to our home.
To say that we are disappointed is an understatement. When we said our goodbyes almost 2 weeks ago (those of us who were actually able to say goodbye), we never expected to ever hear of her again, let alone see her again. To be asked to take her back and then told it wasn't going to happen anymore, it was like losing her all over again. The loss is actually worse than the first time.
We hope that her relative was just overwhelmed and that she won't change her mind again. Because if we get another placement soon, the odds are that we would be unable to take Tigger back. In a way I'm happy the relative changed her mind, that she didn't just give up on Tigger so soon. Tigger was just a normal 3 year old kid in our home and in the 2.5 months that we had her, we never saw any extreme behavioral issues. Hopefully now that she's had time to settle into her relative's home, things will be as good for her there as it was here in our home.
Life's a rollercoaster, especially with foster care...
To say that we are disappointed is an understatement. When we said our goodbyes almost 2 weeks ago (those of us who were actually able to say goodbye), we never expected to ever hear of her again, let alone see her again. To be asked to take her back and then told it wasn't going to happen anymore, it was like losing her all over again. The loss is actually worse than the first time.
We hope that her relative was just overwhelmed and that she won't change her mind again. Because if we get another placement soon, the odds are that we would be unable to take Tigger back. In a way I'm happy the relative changed her mind, that she didn't just give up on Tigger so soon. Tigger was just a normal 3 year old kid in our home and in the 2.5 months that we had her, we never saw any extreme behavioral issues. Hopefully now that she's had time to settle into her relative's home, things will be as good for her there as it was here in our home.
Life's a rollercoaster, especially with foster care...
Sunday, April 24, 2016
Another Goodbye
A couple of days ago, Tigger left our home to live with a relative. It wasn't unexpected since they've been discussing this move for 2 months. However, the move happened quite suddenly. I knew they had court that day for her case, and knew that the judge would probably order this move, but I thought that they would've had a transition for her into the relative's home (increased visits, overnight visits...). She's only seen this relative twice before.
When I got the call after court, it was a scramble to get as much of her things packed as possible. I had less than half an hour. I'm sure it was confusing for Tigger to see me toss all her clothes into a laundry basket, along with her toys and shoes: "What are you doing mommy?" she asked. I had to quickly explain that she was going to live with her relative: "And then I come back here mommy?" she asked. "No, you're not going to live here anymore. The judge wants you to live with your relative. You'll be safe there. She'll take care of you." I explained.
The hardest part about saying goodbye this time around was having to wonder how she'll adjust. Will she regress developmentally (I toilet trained her, but when she was in respite while we were out of town for spring break, she had daily, multiple accidents in that home.) or behaviorally (Before she came to live with us she had anger issues and trouble listening, severe enough to need therapy; she never had those problems in our home and therapy was discontinued.)? I also had to worry about how the others in my family would adjust, especially Taz, who was at school when Tigger left. Thankfully she took it real well when she found out after school. I think it helped that we all knew this day would be coming, sooner or later.
The day after she left I did what I always do when a foster child leaves: clean and pack. I clean to decompress and to prepare for a future placement. And I pack away all the things we no longer need because the child has left our home.
The 2.5 months that Tigger was here was busy and fun. She learned so much here, and taught us so much too. She and Ethan fought and played like true siblings would. And she had Matt wrapped around her little finger in a way only daughters can do. She annoyed Taz and got her to indulge her like the little sister she was. Tigger and I butted heads and made up just like mothers and daughters would do. As short of a time as she was here, she was a part of our family. And in many ways she is still a part of our family, and always will be.
We didn't ask for a break this time, but we didn't tell them we were ready for a new placement either. So we'll just wait and see and be surprised as to when our time as a 4-person family will end.
Current Kiddos: Taz (9) and Ethan (4)
When I got the call after court, it was a scramble to get as much of her things packed as possible. I had less than half an hour. I'm sure it was confusing for Tigger to see me toss all her clothes into a laundry basket, along with her toys and shoes: "What are you doing mommy?" she asked. I had to quickly explain that she was going to live with her relative: "And then I come back here mommy?" she asked. "No, you're not going to live here anymore. The judge wants you to live with your relative. You'll be safe there. She'll take care of you." I explained.
The hardest part about saying goodbye this time around was having to wonder how she'll adjust. Will she regress developmentally (I toilet trained her, but when she was in respite while we were out of town for spring break, she had daily, multiple accidents in that home.) or behaviorally (Before she came to live with us she had anger issues and trouble listening, severe enough to need therapy; she never had those problems in our home and therapy was discontinued.)? I also had to worry about how the others in my family would adjust, especially Taz, who was at school when Tigger left. Thankfully she took it real well when she found out after school. I think it helped that we all knew this day would be coming, sooner or later.
The day after she left I did what I always do when a foster child leaves: clean and pack. I clean to decompress and to prepare for a future placement. And I pack away all the things we no longer need because the child has left our home.
The 2.5 months that Tigger was here was busy and fun. She learned so much here, and taught us so much too. She and Ethan fought and played like true siblings would. And she had Matt wrapped around her little finger in a way only daughters can do. She annoyed Taz and got her to indulge her like the little sister she was. Tigger and I butted heads and made up just like mothers and daughters would do. As short of a time as she was here, she was a part of our family. And in many ways she is still a part of our family, and always will be.
We didn't ask for a break this time, but we didn't tell them we were ready for a new placement either. So we'll just wait and see and be surprised as to when our time as a 4-person family will end.
Current Kiddos: Taz (9) and Ethan (4)
Monday, February 22, 2016
1 Year of Fostering
About 1 year ago, we received our first foster placement. It seems like ages ago. Reflecting on this past year, I can truly say that we have been blessed. It was a privilege to have had each of those 20 kids in our home. Not all of them were a good fit in our family, but we learned so much from caring and loving each and every one of them. Of the 18 that have left, we were relieved to see some them go, we were heartbroken over some of them, and many were somewhere in between. But we think about all of them often, wondering if they are safe, happy, and well taken care of.
Some of the hardest things we've gone through this first year of fostering are:
Some of the hardest things we've gone through this first year of fostering are:
- saying goodbye
- recognizing and learning to deal with our many shortcomings as parents
- living with the constant uncertainty
- dealing with the bio family and their complaints
But all of that pales in comparison with what we've gained, which includes:
- hearing our kiddos say "I Love You"
- having the kids ask for more hugs, to be held, to sit on our laps
- being called mommy and daddy
- having the kids say that they love it here, that they don't want to leave
- being able to provide the kids with a stable, loving home
- teaching them the gospel
- seeing them grow, develop, and thrive in our home
- enjoying fun activities together
Fostering isn't easy, and there have been times when we've felt like giving up, but sticking it out has been worth it. When fostering is at its hardest, I remind myself that as hard as it is for us, it's a million times harder for the kids. As foster parents, we have many choices, but as foster kids, they have almost none. They certainly didn't choose to be in foster care. While we have the choice to throw in the towel at any time, these kids have no choice. Their fate is in the hands of their parents, DCS, and the judge. The least we can do is make their lives as stable and happy as possible while they wait in the limbo of foster care.
Looking forward to another year of fostering, I wonder what it'll bring...
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Saying Goodbye, Moving On
This past weekend, our babies left to live with their dad. Sissy was in our home for 9.5 months, the longest we've had a foster child. Pumpkin was in our home for 3.5 months, his entire life. It's so strange how much a part of our life they have been, but then one phone call later, we're packing their things and they left the next day. Just like that. Thankfully, though, this move didn't catch us by surprise. We've known for over a month that it was coming, and they've had some overnight weekend visits.
In the days after they left, we kept ourselves busy with cleaning up the house and doing those chores that have been put on the back burner for the last few months. But even then, we started to feel pretty empty after a few days. Going from 4 kids to 2 is a big jump. Going from 2 babies to none is a big change.
When it became apparent that the babies would be leaving soon, Matt and I discussed what we wanted to do after they left. And we decided that we would take a little break, maybe about 2-4 weeks. We'll play it by ear, we thought. We also decided that when we were ready to take another placement, that we would just take 1, instead of 2 kids. And we told this to our social worker, knowing that it would be hard for us to say no to a placement if we got a call for one.
Well, tonight's on-call worker forgot that little info, and gave us a call. At first it was for two kiddos, 9 months and almost 2. But while we were considering, they got another referral: a 3 year old girl (Tigger). It didn't take us long to realize that we are okay with our break being cut short (4 days instead of 4 weeks) and accept the placement of the 3 year old little girl.
This will be an adjustment for everyone in our home, having 2 toddlers again. But hopefully Ethan, especially, will get used to having Tigger around and there won't be too much pushing and hitting. And hopefully Taz won't be too annoyed at having 2 little kids following her around.
3 kids, 2 adults...here we go!
Current Run-Down: Taz (9), Ethan (3-almost 4!), Tigger (3)
In the days after they left, we kept ourselves busy with cleaning up the house and doing those chores that have been put on the back burner for the last few months. But even then, we started to feel pretty empty after a few days. Going from 4 kids to 2 is a big jump. Going from 2 babies to none is a big change.
When it became apparent that the babies would be leaving soon, Matt and I discussed what we wanted to do after they left. And we decided that we would take a little break, maybe about 2-4 weeks. We'll play it by ear, we thought. We also decided that when we were ready to take another placement, that we would just take 1, instead of 2 kids. And we told this to our social worker, knowing that it would be hard for us to say no to a placement if we got a call for one.
Well, tonight's on-call worker forgot that little info, and gave us a call. At first it was for two kiddos, 9 months and almost 2. But while we were considering, they got another referral: a 3 year old girl (Tigger). It didn't take us long to realize that we are okay with our break being cut short (4 days instead of 4 weeks) and accept the placement of the 3 year old little girl.
This will be an adjustment for everyone in our home, having 2 toddlers again. But hopefully Ethan, especially, will get used to having Tigger around and there won't be too much pushing and hitting. And hopefully Taz won't be too annoyed at having 2 little kids following her around.
3 kids, 2 adults...here we go!
Current Run-Down: Taz (9), Ethan (3-almost 4!), Tigger (3)
Sunday, January 24, 2016
New Faces
Over the last few months, we have settled into life with 4 kids. Our newborn isn't so new anymore and we're getting the hang of having a kid in school. A couple weekends ago though, we changed things up a bit. We agreed to do respite for another foster family (the couple wanted to go out of town for their anniversary; how could we say no?). When we agreed to this, we thought we'd have 6 kids for 1 of the two nights, but happily it turned out that Pumpkin and Sissy's overnight visit was for 2 nights instead of 1. So there was only a 1/2 hour overlap when we had all 6 kids.
The respite kiddos we had for the weekend were Ay (6) and Al (5 months). Ethan really enjoyed having another boy to play with, and Taz enjoyed having a kid closer to her age to play with, so it was a win-win for both of them. It was nice for us to, because somehow by adding a third kid to the mix, the kids played really well on their own. I guess it's nice to have a new playmate every once in awhile.
Al was a pretty chill baby. It's amazing how much more he could do than Pumpkin, being 2 months older. The one thing we did not enjoy at all was his sleep, or lack thereof. We were told by his regular foster mom that he only woke up once a night around 3am or 4am. Well, for us on the first night he slept until about 2am, then woke up about once every hour after that, though he didn't need to be fed until after 7am. Each time he woke up he fell back asleep on his own, before I could get to him. The next night was a bit worse in he needed to be fed once in the middle of the night and still woke up about once every hour after that. Each time he woke up he needed his pacifier put back in his mouth. Poor baby (and poor us!); having to adjust to a new place must be hard.
Other than the lack of sleep, we enjoyed having Ay and Al stay with us. Ay had a bit of a hard time when he had to leave. I think he really liked staying with us, probably because he doesn't have any playmates in his regular foster home. When they left, we thought we'd probably never see them again...
...but we were wrong. This last weekend we were asked to watch them again just for one night due to a medical emergency with his foster parent. As hard as it was to say yes knowing that we'd likely get very little sleep again (especially since we were so looking forward to a full night's sleep with Sissy and Pumpkin gone on their overnight weekend visit), we knew it'd be a lot easier for Ay and Al to stay with us and not have to adjust to a complete stranger's home for 1 night.
It was a short stay, but mostly enjoyable. Ay was so excited to be back and the kids had a blast playing together all morning on Saturday. Al, as expected, slept terribly. Even worse than before, actually. Once he woke up and was fed at 3am, it took him 2 hours to fall back asleep. But we took turns tending to him and survived.
It's been awhile since we've done respite (with 4 kids we haven't even be asked in months) and even though it was a bit of a sacrifice, I'm glad we were able to help out (both the kids and their foster parents). I'm glad we had the extra beds and time to take those kids in; Heavenly Father has blessed us so much and we're blessed to be able to share what we have with others.
The respite kiddos we had for the weekend were Ay (6) and Al (5 months). Ethan really enjoyed having another boy to play with, and Taz enjoyed having a kid closer to her age to play with, so it was a win-win for both of them. It was nice for us to, because somehow by adding a third kid to the mix, the kids played really well on their own. I guess it's nice to have a new playmate every once in awhile.
Al was a pretty chill baby. It's amazing how much more he could do than Pumpkin, being 2 months older. The one thing we did not enjoy at all was his sleep, or lack thereof. We were told by his regular foster mom that he only woke up once a night around 3am or 4am. Well, for us on the first night he slept until about 2am, then woke up about once every hour after that, though he didn't need to be fed until after 7am. Each time he woke up he fell back asleep on his own, before I could get to him. The next night was a bit worse in he needed to be fed once in the middle of the night and still woke up about once every hour after that. Each time he woke up he needed his pacifier put back in his mouth. Poor baby (and poor us!); having to adjust to a new place must be hard.
Other than the lack of sleep, we enjoyed having Ay and Al stay with us. Ay had a bit of a hard time when he had to leave. I think he really liked staying with us, probably because he doesn't have any playmates in his regular foster home. When they left, we thought we'd probably never see them again...
...but we were wrong. This last weekend we were asked to watch them again just for one night due to a medical emergency with his foster parent. As hard as it was to say yes knowing that we'd likely get very little sleep again (especially since we were so looking forward to a full night's sleep with Sissy and Pumpkin gone on their overnight weekend visit), we knew it'd be a lot easier for Ay and Al to stay with us and not have to adjust to a complete stranger's home for 1 night.
It was a short stay, but mostly enjoyable. Ay was so excited to be back and the kids had a blast playing together all morning on Saturday. Al, as expected, slept terribly. Even worse than before, actually. Once he woke up and was fed at 3am, it took him 2 hours to fall back asleep. But we took turns tending to him and survived.
It's been awhile since we've done respite (with 4 kids we haven't even be asked in months) and even though it was a bit of a sacrifice, I'm glad we were able to help out (both the kids and their foster parents). I'm glad we had the extra beds and time to take those kids in; Heavenly Father has blessed us so much and we're blessed to be able to share what we have with others.
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