I Wouldn't Trade it for Anything

There's this question that I get all the time as a foster mom, and I've never quite known how to answer it. The question is: "How can you say goodbye to your foster kids after getting so attached and loving them so much?" (This is usually followed by a statement along the lines of, "I could never do it." Or "You're so amazing"). Well I watched a movie called "Paycheck" yesterday that finally helped me phrase my answer in the perfect way. Here's a quote that explains my feelings perfectly:

"Rachel Porter: You asked me the strangest question.

Michael Jennings: What?

Rachel Porter: If I knew it wouldn't work out for you and I, before we were together, would I have done it?

Michel Jennings: What did you say?

Rachel Porter: That I wouldn't trade our time for anything."

And that is how I feel. That's how I can continue doing foster care, placement after placement, loss after loss. I'm no saint, I have my moments of impatience, I yell, I engage in power struggles with the kids over pointless things. But I'm a good mom, not perfect, but good. I love Ethan and all the kids that have come, and gone. Even the hard ones, even the ones that were here for just a few days. I look back at those pictures and and videos and think back on those memoires. There were good ones, and bad ones. But mostly good, and the good overshadow the bad.

So here's my answer to the many who have asked me (doctors, dentists, friend, church member, random stranger, family member) how I can handle being a foster mom and get so attached and let them go: I wouldn't trade my time with those kids for anything. I deeply desire to add to my family permanently, but my time with every kid that we've had in our home was worth it, it was not a waste, even though it wasn't meant to be forever. They needed me, and I them. Our time together is over, but I'll cherish the memories we've had forever, and learn from them too. I wouldn't trade it for anything.