Respite Care

So last week, after nearly 2 months of waiting, we finally got to DO something. First, we got to watch a couple of young boys for their foster parents for a few hours. Ethan enjoyed having playmates over, as always. Then over the weekend, we watched two older boys for their foster parents. At first I was worried about them being bored, since all of our toys are more for kids 6 and younger, but a few things saved us: minecraft, paintball, sledding, and letting them play ball indoors.

It was a good first experience with foster kids. They were great kids. Ethan really enjoyed playing with them. We even got to take them to church; it was interesting to see the gospel truths through their eyes. I think that sometimes we take these truths for granted and don't think too much about them, or forget how miraculous it all is. But for someone who's hearing it for the first time, it is completely new and amazing.

This was also a good learning experience for us,a glimpse into life with multiple kids. But since it was such a short stay, we felt like we had more of a aunt/uncle role than a parental one. Probably wouldn't have let them play ball indoors or play so much minecraft if they were going to be here longer.

I hope that the short stay in our home will help these boys. That when they are older, they can look back on it and remember what a family looks like. That they can remember how they felt here and at church. That it will be something they will want for themselves in the future.

The Wait

Lately, I've been feeling like all we ever do is wait. Waiting to get pregnant, waiting for a placement. I had thought that once we were licensed, we would get a placement within a week or two. But while we've had seven calls (5 that we were willing to accept, 1 that we declined due to severe medical needs, and 1 that we couldn't accept because it was for 3 kids and we can only take up to 2), none of them were placed with us.

At first it was really frustrating. I thought that I would be done waiting! This foster care thing was supposed to help me with the trial of not getting pregnant, right? So why am I STILL waiting? Well, after many prayers and pondering, I realized that this isn't all about me. We didn't sign up for this roller coaster for us. Yes, we do want to have more kids in our home, and yes, we might adopt at some point. But really, it all comes down to helping the kids, to providing a safe and loving home for them.

So we will be patient. And while we feel a small loss every time a potential placement falls through (because as soon as a we say yes, we can already imagine them in our lives and as a part of our family), that's nothing compared to the loss both parent(s) and child(ren) must be feeling. From time to time, I still think about these kids that might have come into our homes. These kids that I know very little about: just their ages, gender, why they were being removed, maybe a name. I wonder how they are adjusting and pray that all is well with them.

And for now we just enjoy our time together as a family of three.

Back to the Beginning

So...foster care. Why are we doing this and what's it like? Well, I've finally decided to start a blog to share our experience.

First off, this is something we've talked about doing ever since we were married. We feel that every kid deserves a safe and loving home, and we felt that we could provide that...someday. Well, that "someday" came a lot sooner than we had ever imagined.

We had always assumed that we would do foster care, and eventually adopt from the foster care system, after we were done having kids. So like 10-15 years from now. But after trying for a year to conceive a second child without success, we felt inspired to begin the process of becoming licensed foster parents.

We had to wait a couple months for the next training classes, then it took a couple more months to finish the licensing process. We have been "on call" for a placement since the beginning of January. And it's already been a roller coaster of an adventure...