Life with 4 Under 4

It's been almost 1 week since we accepted our 3rd (official) placement as foster parents, and the first time we've had 2 long-term placements at once. Taking in Tiny (2.5) put us at 4 under 4 (3.5, 2.5, 2.5, 11 months).

It hasn't been as hard as I imagined. After saying yes, both Matt and I had moments of doubt; we wondered if we were biting off more than we could chew. While there has been moments of craziness and frustration (but, then again, we had those times when we "just" had 3 under 4), it has been manageable. It really helps, of course, that Sunshine and Sissy has over 20 hours of visitation a week and that they all sleep through the night. Plus, what's one more toddler when you already have 2?  

Tiny is a sweet boy and we've enjoyed watching the progress he's already made in our home. He is non-verbal (only understandable spoken words are bye, hi, and ball) but uses 5-10 signs (more, all-done, please, help, water, thank-you...). I don't know if he learned those signs from me or if he already knew them, but it is great to see him use them more consistently and without prompting. He does hit (others and himself) when upset at times, but has been responding well to warnings and timeouts. 

Because of Tiny's background and behavior, I've tried super hard since he's been here to watch my reaction to his and the other children's behavior. Using an overly harsh tone/yelling really upsets him and he will start hitting himself. So when correcting him and the other kids I've tried to use light tones (almost overly happy/cheerful) and treat situations in a matter-of-fact way ("we don't hit, we use soft hands; sit on the stairs until you're ready to be nice"). I've been trying to be better about doing this for awhile with Ethan and Sunshine, but having Tiny here has really been helpful to me in achieving this goal. That's slightly surprising to me, since I have been more busy and stressed since
Tiny arrived. 

But in some ways it's not that surprising. Because I've had more on my plate this last week, my priorities and expectations have changed. I don't expect as much from the kids (accidents happen, and that's okay) or myself (Dinner not cooked by the time Matt gets home? Oh well; everyone's alive and sane.). During the day, I've been spending a lot more time playing with the kids and less time facebooking, web browsing, watching Netflix, reading books, or talking on the phone. Basically, I was focused on them as much as I could be and still use the bathroom and do some chores around the house (I pretty much had to at least have them in sight when I had all 3 toddlers at once to ensure that they all survived playtime). While having another kids means less individual time with each of them, the quality of my time with them has increased. I feel like I've been able to be a happier mom and that my children are happier, too. Hopefully I can keep this up if/when my load lightens.