A couple of days ago, Tigger left our home to live with a relative. It wasn't unexpected since they've been discussing this move for 2 months. However, the move happened quite suddenly. I knew they had court that day for her case, and knew that the judge would probably order this move, but I thought that they would've had a transition for her into the relative's home (increased visits, overnight visits...). She's only seen this relative twice before.
When I got the call after court, it was a scramble to get as much of her things packed as possible. I had less than half an hour. I'm sure it was confusing for Tigger to see me toss all her clothes into a laundry basket, along with her toys and shoes: "What are you doing mommy?" she asked. I had to quickly explain that she was going to live with her relative: "And then I come back here mommy?" she asked. "No, you're not going to live here anymore. The judge wants you to live with your relative. You'll be safe there. She'll take care of you." I explained.
The hardest part about saying goodbye this time around was having to wonder how she'll adjust. Will she regress developmentally (I toilet trained her, but when she was in respite while we were out of town for spring break, she had daily, multiple accidents in that home.) or behaviorally (Before she came to live with us she had anger issues and trouble listening, severe enough to need therapy; she never had those problems in our home and therapy was discontinued.)? I also had to worry about how the others in my family would adjust, especially Taz, who was at school when Tigger left. Thankfully she took it real well when she found out after school. I think it helped that we all knew this day would be coming, sooner or later.
The day after she left I did what I always do when a foster child leaves: clean and pack. I clean to decompress and to prepare for a future placement. And I pack away all the things we no longer need because the child has left our home.
The 2.5 months that Tigger was here was busy and fun. She learned so much here, and taught us so much too. She and Ethan fought and played like true siblings would. And she had Matt wrapped around her little finger in a way only daughters can do. She annoyed Taz and got her to indulge her like the little sister she was. Tigger and I butted heads and made up just like mothers and daughters would do. As short of a time as she was here, she was a part of our family. And in many ways she is still a part of our family, and always will be.
We didn't ask for a break this time, but we didn't tell them we were ready for a new placement either. So we'll just wait and see and be surprised as to when our time as a 4-person family will end.
Current Kiddos: Taz (9) and Ethan (4)
