1 Year of Fostering

About 1 year ago, we received our first foster placement. It seems like ages ago. Reflecting on this past year, I can truly say that we have been blessed. It was a privilege to have had each of those 20 kids in our home. Not all of them were a good fit in our family, but we learned so much from caring and loving each and every one of them. Of the 18 that have left, we were relieved to see some them go, we were heartbroken over some of them, and many were somewhere in between. But we think about all of them often, wondering if they are safe, happy, and well taken care of.

Some of the hardest things we've gone through this first year of fostering are:

• saying goodbye
• recognizing and learning to deal with our many shortcomings as parents
• living with the constant uncertainty 
• dealing with the bio family and their complaints

But all of that pales in comparison with what we've gained, which includes:

• hearing our kiddos say "I Love You"
• having the kids ask for more hugs, to be held, to sit on our laps
• being called mommy and daddy
• having the kids say that they love it here, that they don't want to leave
• being able to provide the kids with a stable, loving home
• teaching them the gospel
• seeing them grow, develop, and thrive in our home
• enjoying fun activities together

Fostering isn't easy, and there have been times when we've felt like giving up, but sticking it out has been worth it. When fostering is at its hardest, I remind myself that as hard as it is for us, it's a million times harder for the kids. As foster parents, we have many choices, but as foster kids, they have almost none. They certainly didn't choose to be in foster care. While we have the choice to throw in the towel at any time, these kids have no choice. Their fate is in the hands of their parents, DCS, and the judge. The least we can do is make their lives as stable and happy as possible while they wait in the limbo of foster care. 

Looking forward to another year of fostering, I wonder what it'll bring...

Saying Goodbye, Moving On

This past weekend, our babies left to live with their dad. Sissy was in our home for 9.5 months, the longest we've had a foster child. Pumpkin was in our home for 3.5 months, his entire life. It's so strange how much a part of our life they have been, but then one phone call later, we're packing their things and they left the next day. Just like that. Thankfully, though, this move didn't catch us by surprise. We've known for over a month that it was coming, and they've had some overnight weekend visits.

In the days after they left, we kept ourselves busy with cleaning up the house and doing those chores that have been put on the back burner for the last few months. But even then, we started to feel pretty empty after a few days. Going from 4 kids to 2 is a big jump. Going from 2 babies to none is a big change.

When it became apparent that the babies would be leaving soon, Matt and I discussed what we wanted to do after they left. And we decided that we would take a little break, maybe about 2-4 weeks. We'll play it by ear, we thought. We also decided that when we were ready to take another placement, that we would just take 1, instead of 2 kids. And we told this to our social worker, knowing that it would be hard for us to say no to a placement if we got a call for one.

Well, tonight's on-call worker forgot that little info, and gave us a call. At first it was for two kiddos, 9 months and almost 2. But while we were considering, they got another referral: a 3 year old girl (Tigger). It didn't take us long to realize that we are okay with our break being cut short (4 days instead of 4 weeks) and accept the placement of the 3 year old little girl.

This will be an adjustment for everyone in our home, having 2 toddlers again. But hopefully Ethan, especially, will get used to having Tigger around and there won't be too much pushing and hitting. And hopefully Taz won't be too annoyed at having 2 little kids following her around.

3 kids, 2 adults...here we go!

Current Run-Down: Taz (9), Ethan (3-almost 4!), Tigger (3)