Just 1.5 days after our respite boys (R and P) left, we got a call in the middle of the night for an emergency placement. They just needed a place for a 4 year old girl (M) and 9 year old boy (T) to stay for 2 days while they figured out a relative placement for them. While having 5 kids again would be hard (especially when we were looking forward to relaxing after R and P left), we said yes. It was midnight; what if they couldn't find anyone else? I didn't want to say no when we had empty beds available.
They were coming from over an hour away, so I took that time to shower and get their beds ready for their arrival. When they got here, the first thing M said was "Where's the dog?" (don't know where she got that from; we don't have any pets). T was completely silent and wouldn't answer any questions. It wasn't until the social worker left that the tears started. They didn't want to sleep in separate rooms (it's a rule that boys and girls need to be in separate bedrooms, even siblings). Here they were at a strangers home in the middle of the night, and they couldn't even have each other for comfort. It took me awhile to convince them to go upstairs to see the rooms, and even longer for M to agree to sleep in the girls' room with Sunshine and Sissy. I had to plug in 1 nightlight per room plus 1 in the hallway. I also gave T a star projector nightlight to use as well, since he had to sleep alone (Ethan could have stayed in there with him, but we didn't have another bed, so he slept in our bed instead). I also made sure they knew where my room and the bathroom was, and kept their doors open. It was 2:30am before I got to bed; I got about 4-5 hours of sleep that night.
T didn't go to school the next day, and having 5 kids at home all day was a challenge, but doable. The next day was easier with T off at school all day (7:30-5) and Sunshine and Sissy gone for a visit in the morning. The next afternoon however, they asked if we could keep them until Monday (which I found out later they really meant Tuesday, as Monday was Memorial Day; they didn't actually leave until Wednesday). While the thought of having them stay for the weekend was a little overwhelming, we said yes. We didn't want them to have to go to another stranger's home for a few days and then have to be moved again when the relative placement was ready.
We survived the weekend and managed to have a lot of fun. Matt and I took turns taking a few of the kids out to do things, as our car does not have enough seats for everyone. We went to a baptism at my church, the zoo, a birthday party, and over to a friend's house so T could have kids his age to play with. We went one lots of walks, to the park, and played outside in the sandbox. We watched TV shows and let T play minecraft.
Having M and T here was a fun, challenging learning experience. They were great kids. M loved to help with diaper changes and cooking. T loved holding and feeding Sissy, and also helped mow the lawn. But, as all kids do, they also fought, hit, and threw fits. One night after a visit they cried, occasionally screaming and kicking, on the couch for almost half an hour. When they finally calmed down enough, we went for a walk which really helped. Their last night here was the worst. T didn't want to go to bed because he has a really hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. And he got M all upset too and then she wouldn't leave his side and they both wanted to sleep in the same room again. I tried all sorts of things to get them to calm down, but what finally worked was me offering to sleep in the hallway that night. That satisfied them and they went to bed in their separate rooms willingly.
They left the next morning and it was mostly a relief. I really liked them and came to love them and care about them a lot, but handling 5 kids (with 4 of them being foster kids) for 8 days really stretched us. Being back to have only 3 kids in the house the past few days has been amazing. I feel a lot more in control and not overwhelmed. The first things I did after they left was shower (without having Matt home), clean, spend one-on-one time with Ethan, and go grocery shopping. Those were the things that was hard to do when M and T were here. Someday I hope to have the ability to handle more children at one time long term (it would certainly help once we have a van), but for now, 3 is plenty!
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Sunday, May 17, 2015
From 1 to 3 to 5 Kids
This weekend we took a respite placement: a 4 year old boy (R) and a 5 year old boy (P). We watched them for 2 nights to give their regular foster parents a break.
Having 5 kids 5 and under was kind of crazy at times, but manageable. Actually, for the first day, it was really 4 kids, since Matt and Ethan went to the Father-Son camp out with our church. Though of course, that meant that I was on my own. But seeing that I had a couple of days notice that they would be coming, I was prepared. I went to bed early the night before they came to make sure that I would be well rested. I had Matt pick up Pizza for the first night and utilized a freezer meal for the second. And I pretty much didn't expect to get any housework done all weekend. So basically, I was just focusing on the kids most of the time. Handling this many kids is a lot easier when you don't multitask.
R and P are really pretty good kids. Had a lot of energy, but they were sweet and so helpful with cleaning up and even the dishes. And they can pretty much take care of themselves (washing hands, going to the bathroom, changing clothes...so nice after dealing with 2 toddlers who need help with all of those things). So this weekend, our house was a lot louder but a lot more tidy (getting toddlers to clean up all their toys takes so long, we don't usually do it every night).
Going to church today required some creativity. Since we just have 1 sedan, we didn't have enough room in the car for everyone. Luckily, we live really close to the church and it wasn't raining. So Matt was able to bike to church, pulling Ethan and Sunshine in the bike trailer. And while having 5 kids at church and trying to keep them reverent took some work, it really wasn't that much more work than 3 kids.
This was only our second time doing respite (and first time doing respite while having a regular placement), but so far at least, I can say that I really enjoy doing respite. I'm happy to help out other foster parents, and it's fun to have new kids around the house, enjoy them, and then return them. Sometimes I think it's easier to be patient with kids when you know they'll be leaving soon. I guess doing respite is kind of like being a grandparent: love them, spoil them, return them.
And I think this experience has taught me to be more patient with my own kiddos, the ones I have to deal with day in and day out. It's reminded me that toddlers will grow up, that they can learn. And it reinforced in my mind yet again, that God can and does strengthen me to meet the challenges and tasks that are before me, especially when I pray for that help.
Having 5 kids 5 and under was kind of crazy at times, but manageable. Actually, for the first day, it was really 4 kids, since Matt and Ethan went to the Father-Son camp out with our church. Though of course, that meant that I was on my own. But seeing that I had a couple of days notice that they would be coming, I was prepared. I went to bed early the night before they came to make sure that I would be well rested. I had Matt pick up Pizza for the first night and utilized a freezer meal for the second. And I pretty much didn't expect to get any housework done all weekend. So basically, I was just focusing on the kids most of the time. Handling this many kids is a lot easier when you don't multitask.
R and P are really pretty good kids. Had a lot of energy, but they were sweet and so helpful with cleaning up and even the dishes. And they can pretty much take care of themselves (washing hands, going to the bathroom, changing clothes...so nice after dealing with 2 toddlers who need help with all of those things). So this weekend, our house was a lot louder but a lot more tidy (getting toddlers to clean up all their toys takes so long, we don't usually do it every night).
Going to church today required some creativity. Since we just have 1 sedan, we didn't have enough room in the car for everyone. Luckily, we live really close to the church and it wasn't raining. So Matt was able to bike to church, pulling Ethan and Sunshine in the bike trailer. And while having 5 kids at church and trying to keep them reverent took some work, it really wasn't that much more work than 3 kids.
This was only our second time doing respite (and first time doing respite while having a regular placement), but so far at least, I can say that I really enjoy doing respite. I'm happy to help out other foster parents, and it's fun to have new kids around the house, enjoy them, and then return them. Sometimes I think it's easier to be patient with kids when you know they'll be leaving soon. I guess doing respite is kind of like being a grandparent: love them, spoil them, return them.
And I think this experience has taught me to be more patient with my own kiddos, the ones I have to deal with day in and day out. It's reminded me that toddlers will grow up, that they can learn. And it reinforced in my mind yet again, that God can and does strengthen me to meet the challenges and tasks that are before me, especially when I pray for that help.
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